* Code to improve Google search: Frank's Weight Loss Blog: April 2008

Wednesday, April 30, 2008

More Walking, Less Talking

Since my last post I've walked a mile at lunch yesterday, another mile going to the grocery store last night, and I just got in from walking a mile here at the office. It's a good start of what I need to do over the next 4 months.

I'm not a big fan of walking. I have always been a runner, a label I give to myself regardless of how slow the jogging has become in recent years. The problem is that my body can't recover from jogging like it use to when I was younger, lighter, and more fit. Also, jogging is a bigger time commitment. When you talk about getting ready to jog, jogging 3-4 miles, and then cooling off and taking a shower, you are talking about a minimum of 2 hours. Walking a mile is about 20 minutes and it can be done here and there throughout the day. With a little planning, like getting up earlier so I arrive at the building a 6:30 instead of 7:00, it isn't hard to find time for several short excursions each day.

There's another potential plus to taking little walking breaks throughout the day. It will make me more conscious about what I eat and what I shouldn't eat. I just got back from 20 minutes of walking and that burned about 150 calories. Do I really want to throw that all away plus more if someone brings in a big batch of cookies today? No one likes to do work and then have it undone right away, and snacking after walking would do just that. I believe I'll have an easier time of cutting out the junk once I start putting more of an effort into the exercise end of the equation.

For the record, I was 222.5 pounds this morning. I would like to get that number down to 210 pounds for the start of June. That will take a solid effort of sticking with the walking and staying away from the junk, something I think I can do for one month. After that, I'll come up with another goal for July 1st and I'll see if I can stick with my plan for another month. That's the vision. The reality is that I have made a good start today and now I have to keep up the good work until my next post. I'll still get together with the guys this evening and my big goal there will be stay out of the bowl of nuts that the waiter brings to the table.

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

A Quick Post

I didn't post from my house this morning for a reason that doesn't bode well for the rest of the day. I had to leave early to buy some diet cokes, my contribution to the office birthday party this morning. I plan on showing restraint of some sort this morning. I'm just not sure of how much restraint.

The weight this morning was 222 pounds. I think that's going to be the starting point for this new attempt. I know for sure that my body isn't still thinking of 215 as the set point, but maybe it will drop to that level without too much protest if I'll get my act in gear.

That's about all the time I have for posting this morning and it's about all the thoughts I have on dieting right now. It seems like it will take me a few days to switch gears after finishing up at Millsaps. Right now I have so many things that need to be done and it's a little confusing to know where to start.

Monday, April 28, 2008

Now We Will See

Saturday morning I step on the scale and it displayed "225.0", the weight that it read over 2 years ago when I started the first blog to help me lose weight. If there is a silver lining that I've gone over 2 years without gaining extra weight, then it is a very thin silver lining.

Sunday morning that weight was down to 223.5 and this morning it was down to 222 pounds. It's still the same basic neighborhood, just a street or two closer to the nice part of town. I didn't blog over the weekend because I was in a rhythm of burning and labeling DVDs to distribute at Millsaps. Unless something goes horribly wrong, I should deliver those DVDs for tennis, softball and baseball this morning and with that, I'll be 99% finished with the project for this year. There's always something that comes up about requests for photos so I always assume that there is an unknown 1% left to be done.

That gives me the full months of May, June, July and August to accomplish everything that needs to get done before the start of the next school year. It's long enough to make me think that I can relax just a little, and short enough that I will still be way behind in September if I take any time to relax. I still need to busy in getting things done, but at least I can add more variety and I can do more things for myself.

The biggest thing I need to do for myself is get this weight off and get more fit. I'm not sure if I've had a legitimate excuse for not making that happen over the last 8 months. I am sure that I don't have a legitimate excuse for not making that happen in the coming 4 months. I need to get 40 pounds off in 4 months. That's a big goal for a person who had a big need to get their life under control, and the first step starts with today.

Friday, April 25, 2008

Getting Close

Yesterday was the same story, same result. I took off early, went home and sat at the PC working on photos, and I ate too much and moved too little. I realize that I've been in that trap of thinking that I'm going to really work on my weight once I find the time when I can really work on my weight. I guess this idea centers around the theory that exercise is a critical part of losing weight and I just haven't had the time to start a consistent exercise program.

You don't have to tell me this is BS. I can find the time to walk 30 minutes on just about every day of the year. That in itself would be all the exercise a person needs to go along with exercising some restraint. The reality is that I tend to reward myself with food or I tend to put off things by going to fix some food or I tend to eat food when I want to feel sorry for myself. Most of the reasons I eat have little to do with hunger. Heck, the main reason most of us eat too much is because the people in the business of selling food are damn good at their jobs and we are surrounded by too much good food that does give us short term pleasure. Unfortunately, that reality won't change and I, like most Americans, need to do a better job at resisting the temptations that surround me. I resist other temptations in my life, so I know I can do the same with food.

I really think the photo DVDs will all get done this weekend and delivered on Monday. At that point the excuses stop. We'll see if the exercise begins. In the meantime, I'm not sure if we will see much improvement on the 224.5 pounds that I weighed this morning.

Thursday, April 24, 2008

Today's a Good Day to Start

Over the last few weeks my focus on getting the photo project finished has been offset by my total lack of focus when it comes to diet. It's hard to really justify this failure to diet or to at least make an effort to diet, so I won't bother trying. In order to distribute the last of the DVD's next Monday, I'll have to really work hard over the next 4 days. It won't be the type of environment that has been productive for dieting, but I do believe I can overlap the two projects for these 4 or 5 days if I'll really concentrate.

I really look forward to the end of the photo project for this school year. If I'm smart, I won't let up in the busy nature of my life. I feel like I relaxed a little too much last summer, concentrating on recharging myself after a tough 8 months and not doing enough to catch up in the other areas of my life. I'm still behind in some places on things that I should have done last summer.

This year I can't slow down during May through August. I believe the thing that will recharge my life most isn't rest and relaxation. Instead, it will be the satisfaction of getting the rest of my life put back in order and the biggest thing that needs to be put back in order is my health. Keeping in mind that it is very easy to be fired up about a project before starting any real work, I think I'm prepared to really attack the health problem this summer. I want to be a totally changed person by the time the next school year starts and I think a healthier Frank will make life a lot easier during the taxing September to April part of the year.

I have about 130 days to work with before I football starts. It's a lot of time and not much time. Considering all that I want to accomplish, today feels like it needs to be the start of the push to turn back the clock. I'm going to work hard to make this one day a good day.

Weight this morning before going jogging: 224.5 pounds

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

A Long Weekend

For the last two days I've gone to work from 7-1, then taken off to go home and work a full shift on the photos. It has turned Monday and Tuesday into a continuation of the weekend where I move very little and I overeat while sitting at the computer. Not surprisingly, instead of going down, my weight has now gone up to a robust 223.5 this morning.

I'm not saying that I have to eat more just because I'm at the computer all the time. I'm just saying that I do. I also think that some of the letdown is because I'm taking the approach that in just a week or so I'll really get to some serious dieting and exercising so a little slippage here is no big deal. That's a dangerous track to follow.

Well, it is what it is. I really need to take the afternoon off today and the guys get together this evening, so we will see what tomorrow brings. I still have faith in my ability to do this, but I'm not so sure that I would have a lot of faith in the writer of this blog if it were someone else and I was a reader of the blog. I'll admit that I'm not looking like a strong candidate for success at this point in time--I'll have to make some big, big changes over the next few months.

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Seeing the End of the Road

My biggest diet news of late isn't really diet news. I worked a lot on the Millsaps photos over the weekend and my work pile is down to just a few baseball games plus some photos from a ceremony for the senior athletes. That's still a lot of work to do and I'll be taking off most afternoons this week to give myself a fighting chance of finishing this year's photos by next Monday. That would be monumental.

Don't think that it would leave me with nothing to do for the next few months. I have more to do that I want to think about, but it won't have such a pressing deadline and it won't be piling up faster than I can turn out the work. I should be able to gain ground instead of feeling like I'm falling further and further behind. That's also means that I'll have no excuses for not exercising and really making an effort to get to a healthy level of living. We'll see how that goes. I think it will go well.

In the meantime, my weight was 220.5 pounds this morning. Why did I ever let the days of 165-175 slip away from me? I guess that's water under the bridge now.

Monday, April 21, 2008

I'm Fat

Is it politically incorrect to label yourself as fat? It probably is because if too many people were brutally honest about their situation then it would make the fat people who are in denial too uncomfortable. If you have eyes that can see, then you would know I'm too fat at first glance. Maybe I'm no worse than many, especially when compared to others in their mid-50's, but that doesn't help me any unless I find pleasure in the theory that misery loves company.

If you want to know about my weekend, then go back and read a Monday post from the last month. It has all been the same--most of the weekend either spent taking photos and eating too much while at the games OR most of the weekend spent sitting at my computer and eating too much while working on photos. No where in there will you read anything about exercise. Despite the fact that I have very busy weekends, the lack of exercise is not because of lack of time. I could find the time if the I could find the desire to exercise.

I was thinking last night about how for the first time in my life I feel older than my age. I also am starting to feel that I'm looking older than my age in some ways. The only youthful thing I'm holding on to is that I seem to think younger than my age. Is my body betraying me or am I betraying my body. It doesn't really matter does it. I'm allowing myself to age. Let me repeat that with the empathises where it belongs--I'M allowing myself to age. It's not the fault of society or my genes or anything else that is the primary cause of my drop in vitality and fitness. It's my fault by the choices I have made and haven't made.

I doubt that much will change in the next week of my life except that I hope to get very close to the end of this year's photo project. At that point I won't really have an excuse to abuse myself through neglect. Will I choose to end the abuse? Go question and I feel like time is running short for me to come up with the right answer.

For the record, my weight this morning was 221 pounds like most Monday mornings of late.

Thursday, April 17, 2008

Thursday, 4-17-08

Yesterday was Wednesday which typically means going out with the guys, a late supper, and a weight increase on Thursday. Yesterday was a typical Wednesday. My weight was up to 219.5 pounds this morning. Today will be a difficult day for the diet as I'm going to work at the normal 7 o'clock, then I'll drive to Birmingham sometime around lunch, I'll make some backup tapes of a computer system over there, and hopefully I'll drive back this evening.

Since my work will be finished this evening, I really would hate to get a motel room and then drive back in the morning. It's 240 miles back to Jackson and I'm sure I'll be able to make the first 120 miles without any problem. It's the last 120 miles at the end of a long day that might be difficult and my solution to fatigue might be candy and sodas. I won't do anything stupid when it comes to driving when I'm really too tired to drive, but I would really like to start Friday off in Jackson instead of spending all of Friday morning on the road.

(Note: Depending on where I do spend the night or how late I get back home, I may skip tomorrow's post.)

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

What I Would Really Like

Yesterday wasn't a bad day and I weighed in this morning at 218 pounds. I can't tell you exactly what I ate because I didn't do a list. I really wish I could get away from the list and that my dieting would be more about simply making the right choice over and over. The beauty about keeping the list is also the drawback--it makes me think about the food I eat over the course of a day.

I've talked about the benefits of keeping the list over and over. The negative is that it does have me thinking about food all the time--what I've eaten, how many calories so far, can I get in a snack late and still stay below a certain calorie count for the day, etc. I'd rather go to a higher level and make rational choices about eating as I go throughout the day. I would rather skip the free cookies that someone brought to work because I know I don't need them, not because I would have to put them on a list.

The reason for the list is because I know that I can't trust myself to eat right if I don't keep up with my food intake (in this case, eat right is referring to the calorie count and not the idea that I'm making the healthiest food choices). I would really like to get to the point where I cut down and I make healthier choices throughout the day without the list. Can I do that? I keep thinking that I can and I keep proving that I can't.

I'm going to try and get through this day without a list and without making any poor choices. I know I can do this, but I'm just not sure if I will do it.

Weight today: 218 Pounds.

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Fluctuating Like the Stock Market

For a person who isn't exercising at all, I sure have some big weight swings. This morning I weighed in at 217.5, a significant drop from yesterday and the weekend numbers. There was a time when I could usually predict my morning weight within a half pound. Now I never know what to expect when I step on the scale to start the day.

Let me delicately say that I seemed to have an "upset stomach" much of the day yesterday. Since the human body is set up where movement helps create a movement, I think I tend to accumulate food in my digestive tract over the weekend when I mostly just sit and eat. When the work week starts I find myself walking back and forth all over our building and that helps move things along. I'm sorry for sharing that detail. However, this is a blog about weight loss and that partially explains why my weight goes up every weekend and then it comes down during the week days. I expect that pattern to change when I stop spending all weekend working on photos.

I didn't do a very good job on keeping up with the food yesterday. Normally that means that I overate and didn't want to keep up with the food. In this case, I just didn't keep up with what I ate on a fairly decent dieting day. While I could have made healthier choices, it was still a day that came in under 2,500 calories.

Weight today: 217.5 pounds
Food yesterday (as best I can remember): about 4 or 5 small granola bars, the typical Wendy's lunch, about 200 calories of candy that I didn't need, an apple, some pineapple, and 2 hot pockets.

Monday, April 14, 2008

Not a Bad Weekend

Well, in the exercise column it was a bad weekend as I spent most of my time planted on my well padded rear end. I know I could have found the time to do something, I simply choose not to. The habit of exercise is going to be a hard habit to reacquire.

For all the time spent at the computer, my calorie control went well thanks to one change I've made. I've gone back to sucking down diet sodas. Maybe a stronger person could have cut back on food and the sodas at the same time while not having a lot of time for exercise. I'm not that person. The diet sodas hold me over from meal to meal, from snack to snack, filling in some of the points where I would get something to eat. Contrary to all the recent stories about diet sodas might be a cause in gaining weight, they seem to be a key factor for me to keep my weight under control. Let's just hope those rumors about them cause brain tumors aren't true.

Weight today: 221 pounds
Food yesterday in a random order: apple(150)--2 popcorns(500)--2 hot pockets(700)--2 other types of hot pockets(760) = 2,110 calories.

Sunday, April 13, 2008

Not a Bad Day

Yesterday started off with a trip to the Laundromat to clean a small mountain of clothes. The rest of the day was spent at my PC working on photos or checking out Millsaps baseball and softball results. There was a break to combine pleasure with work as I ironed some clothes while watching the Master's golf tournament.

It was a day tailor made for disaster so a total calorie count of 2,370 wasn't too bad. While the food choices centered around the usual main characters, there was actually the appearance of some fruits and vegetables in the supporting cast. It's a start.

Weight this morning: 221.5 Pounds
Food yesterday: crackers(260)--apple(150)--popcorn(250)--corn(280)--potatoes(150)--popcorn(250)--lt beer(100)--Wendy's junior cheeseburger deluxe and a small Frosty(680)--popcorn(250) = 2,370 calories

Saturday, April 12, 2008

A Decent Start to the New Beginning

I got the leash back out and wrote down my food intake yesterday. It's amazing how accountability consistently works. I'm trying to focus on eating food that I need, not food that I want. There's a big difference between the two.

I weighed in at 221 pounds this morning. Just to make things easy, let's say that this is 40 pounds of excess fat. Losing 40 pounds would put me at 181 pounds which is actually still just a little in the overweight category for my height. Since we know that a pound of fat represents about 3,500 calories, we can roughly calculate that I have 140,000 excessive calories stored in my body. If this excessive amount was anything except fat, don't you think most people would consider the person hording so much as a person with a mental problem? It would be like the person who keeps cases of toilet paper on hand or dozens of unopened boxes of food. Let's be honest, what are the odds that I'm going to find myself in a situation where I need to tap into a storage supply of 140,000 calories?

It's just ridiculous to be carrying around something that I'm never going to need. For 24 hours every day, I have to deal with this extra 40 pounds and the chance of needing it is virtually nil. Where is the logic in that? It is clear that I NEED very little food each day since I have such a reserve that I need to deplete. It is also clear that I have a problem with WANTING food or else I wouldn't have build up such a reserve. I have to focus on the need and not the want in order to get my weight under control.

Weight today: 221 pounds
Food yesterday: oatmeal(160)--granola bar(100)--granola bar(100)--granola bar(100--it's all I had at work)--pizza(800)--canned fruit(320)--popcorn(250) = 1,830 calories

Friday, April 11, 2008

A New Beginning--Again

This morning I weighed in at 222 pounds. That's not a pretty reality. This morning I also found myself unable to sleep in the early hours despite the fact that I've been unusually fatigued all week. I came up with a variety of thoughts about my life in the short term and the long term.

The short term would be the last week and the complete lack of control when it came to my diet and my weight. I made the decision that I didn't need to actually keep my food journal, a poor decision that was magnified by several things. Without going into great detail, those outside things included the power going off at my duplex, an exceedingly heavy photography load, and this daily medicine that seems to be making me tired as a side effect. The result was that my weight went up like a person who went on vacation and I think it will get back in line fairly quickly if I'll get my diet back in line. It taught me a lesson that I already knew.

During my early morning think session, I realized that when it comes to dieting I'm like an unruly dog being taken out for a walk. When I'm making an effort, it is like that unruly dog on a lease. Sometimes that dog will behave and stay in line, but any little distraction is problematic. Another dog, a squirrel, a car, an urge to sniff something--this unruly dog is easily thrown off track and even with the lease it makes walking the dog an inconsistent and sometimes difficult task. That's me on a diet. I do okay some of the time and then I get easily distracted and thrown off track. As long as I'm trying, it is like that lease that can be used to get me back on track. When I stop trying, it is like taking the lease off that dog and that will only lead to chaos and a total breakdown of discipline.

I also was thinking about how my life has changed dramatically over the last few years. In general, I believe those changes are for the better, but those changes have come at a high cost. That's usually how life works. As an example, think about an adult who decides to go back to college to get a degree. That's a huge change with a potentially huge payoff and I think we all would encourage our friends to go for such a challenge. On the other hand, that return to college often requires a lot of sacrifice. If you continue to hold down a full time job, then seeking a degree will absorb all of your free time and then some. You have to cut out a lot of things that are big in your life if you want to pursue something even bigger.

That's the way it has been for me. All of this photography that I've been doing is obviously adding a lot to my life or I wouldn't continue to do the photographs at Millsaps and a wide variety of other events. It is something big in my life like the person who has returned to college and it has brought plenty of sacrifices along the way. I tend to complain too much about all of those things that I've had to cut out of my life and maybe I need to focus more on the reasons why I continue down this new path. What I hope is that I'm still in some sort of acclimation period where I'll figure out a way to get a better balance and I'll reclaim some of those things that I've sacrificed. There's no question that I need to change the way my life has gone over the last year or two because I can't continue on this exact road for much longer.

Right now my weight and my life have one big commonality. They are both so far out of kilter that getting things back to normal has become a daunting task. If I was 195 pounds and in half way decent shape, then getting back to 175 and being fit would look like a doable task. At 222 pounds and in horrible shape, getting to 175 and fit is such a long journey. I can make it, but it is hard to stick to a plan when there is such a long, hard road ahead. Likewise with my life, I am so far behind that I don't know how I'll ever catch up. I can quote Henry Ford all day about no job being impossible if you break it into a series of smaller jobs, but there are just so many smaller jobs that need to be done.

Well hey, life isn't always easy. Right now I'm in a struggle and I'll fail here and there and I'll have my successes and I'll make progress over the course of time. I keep thinking that I can keep everything under control if I can just get back to the starting point. If I can get to 175 and fit, then I'll be able to maintain that. If I can get caught up with the backlog in my life then I'll be able to keep everything current. If I can get the house straightened up and uncluttered then I'll keep it that way. If, if, if--I need less of those and more done, done, done's in my life. I will get my life back on track if I'll just keep being persistent. It won't be easy and it won't happen overnight, but the rewards will be great when I get back to a life that is under control. Let's see if I can suceed at the smaller job of just having a good day today.

Thursday, April 10, 2008

Here's the Skinny (or not so skinny)

I weighed 219.5 this morning, not surprising after a big Wednesday night get together. My goal was to meet the guys a little late, leave a little early, and only have 2 beers. Things didn't work out that way. Price and Barry were the only two there when I got there, then Barry had to leave right as George and Dick got to the bar. I didn't want to leave right away and I ended up staying till the end, consuming 3 beers which always makes me feel like I need to eat a decent meal. So the bottom line is that it became a typical Wednesday night instead of a night of refraining.

I did get up and walk this morning to offset some of the damage. I needed the exercise but I also needed the sleep. I've been very tired lately and I'm not sure if that is a side effect of the Vytorin that I started taking last week. I did a lot of photography Saturday, Sunday and Monday so that could be part of the fatigue. On the other hand, I got more sleep than usual over the weekend because of the lack of electricity at my house--I went to bed early and slept late. My guess is that Vytorin is causing some fatigue and I have been feeling exhausted from the very start of my work day. That's causing me to snack more, certainly not a good thing for trying to lose weight.

Hopefully this side effect will ease up, especially once my photo work tapers off. Hopefully a lot of things will be better in about 3 weeks.

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Everything's on Hold

I only have a minute or two to post. My weight was at 218.5 this morning. Nothing about what I've been eating would make you think that I'm trying to lose weight and at the moment I am not. It seems like for the last few days I've been trying to avoid everything that has been ruling my life in recent months.

Those two main things are dieting and the Millsaps photos. I just don't want to do either. I think this poor attitude will pass in a few days and I'll get back on track, but for now I seemed to have a mental block about continuing my past life style. The way I feel this morning, I doubt this will be the day that I get back on track.

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

April 8th, 2008

It's hard to come up with a title for the post when I've been doing so little on the diet. I can tell you that I am so ready to be through with the Millsaps photos for this year. I've just about finished taking all of the photos and now I have this huge backlog of events that need to be processed. I find myself trying to find reasons not to start on it each day, thinking that I'll hit it hard starting with tomorrow. I've got to make one big push to get this all done and then I think I can get back to my life and trying to get fit.

I was at 218.5 this morning. I don't know if that means a lot. It could have just as easily been 217 or 220. I seem to be stuck in the range until I do something really significant and it doesn't look like that will happen for at least a couple of weeks.

Monday, April 7, 2008

A New Week and the Return of Electricity

I've had my few days of excess after going away from writing down all that I eat. Plus, I've had my few days where just about everything was fast food items because I had no electricity at the duplex. With those things behind me since the power came on last night, I need to make a serious effort for this entire week. It won't be easy, but if it were easy we wouldn't have the majority of American overweight.

I was just thinking about all that I have to do this week and I remembered that I have a baseball game to do this afternoon. This is one of those that I absolutely need to make because it is the last junior varsity game of the season. There will be people playing and hitting in this game that I haven't photographed all year and I won't get them for the season if I don't take photographs today. I mention this because dieting is harder for me when I am swamped with work and I'm swamped already. I have some softball games from mid-March to finish and then the huge pile of photos from the last weekend of March and from this just complete weekend. Add to that the cheerleader DVDs that I should have finished a week ago and I've never been so far behind on my Millsaps project.

All this work makes taking time for exercise impractical. Shoot, it makes taking time for my real work impractical, but I still have to do that and the trip to Birmingham is still hanging over my head. Some people get so busy that they forget to eat. I tend to get so busy that I use the desire for food as a good reason to take a break. I've talked about substituting a walk around the block for a trip to the refrigerator when I feel the need for a break, but old habits are hard to break when they are so enjoyable. It looks to be a difficult few weeks ahead and I'll be happy if I can maintain my current 217.5 pounds until the start of May. And who knows, maybe I will start taking those walks around the block and I'll actually lose a little weight. For now, I'll just be happy if today is a good day.

Sunday, April 6, 2008

Still No Electricity

The power went out at the duplex early Friday afternoon. There was still no power Sunday morning. I've had to throw out everything in the refrigerator except the water and beer and cooking without a microwave it not my strong suit. That has me relying on fast food places more than usual and this morning I made a rare stop for a fast food breakfast. I'm not exactly sure how I can justify that since I was on the way to the office and I have yogurt that was available for breakfast.

Regardless, stop I did at a Burger King. A sausage biscuit sounded good but can anything that just cost a dollar truly be satisfying? That doesn't sound likely so I bought two sausage biscuits and asked for some strawberry jelly. I discovered what I probably already knew, namely that one biscuit is plenty and that two is too much. That didn't stop me from eating both, probably to the tune of 1,000 calories, since I promised myself that I would cut back later. That has the feel of a promise that will be broken.

The good news is that I only weighed 217.5 pounds this morning. I really don't know what to make of my weight lately. I am so far away from a consistent pattern in my life and it shows in the ups and downs of my weight. I'm nearing the end of the photo taking stage at Millsaps but I have a huge back log of photos to work through. The power outage has added to the backlog since I've been taking photos this weekend without processing any. All I need it two weeks of long hours and I'll be very close to the end of the project for another year. After that I hope to really get some pattern of exercise and healthy living going. In the meantime, I think I'll go back to avoiding fast food places for breakfast.

Saturday, April 5, 2008

Lack of Power, Lack of Food

The power went off at my house yesterday and it is still off this morning. Everything in the refrigerator except for the water and beer will have to go, giving me the opportunity to rethink before I restock. I've had a few days of relapsing, a natural reaction to freedom, but that hasn't been satisfying. I really want to get back to being more fit and healthy like the old days and I think that desire is going to override the short term desire for pleasure from food. I just need to cut back to eating only because I'm hungry, and then just eating enough to get rid of the hunger. The mindless eating has to stop.

For the record, my weight today was 220 pounds. I ate late last night as I went out after dark to find supper and some light before coming home and going to bed.

Friday, April 4, 2008

I Might Be Lying to Myself

Over the first few days of no written accountability, the urge to be bad has overwhelmed the plan to rely on making a long string of healthy choices. Maybe this is a natural reaction that I should have expected and I'll get back on the straight and narrow after my taste of freedom. Maybe not.

I was 219 pounds today as my weight of late has been as unpredictable as the stock market. This weekend will be one that is spent mostly away from the house so predictability in how I'll eat is just about out the window. I'll eat what's available so the nutrition will probably suffer even more than when I'm at home. The big question will be how much I will eat. And the bigger question will be how much I'll weigh when I step on the scales this Monday.

Thursday, April 3, 2008

Worse Day, Better Results

Yesterday was a somewhat hectic day at work and I nibbled on junk/candy rather than really sticking to better foods. This morning my weight had dropped to 217.5 pounds. I think that's a 4 pound drop from yesterday. Sometimes those things happen and I really think yesterday's weight was the fluke.

I'm going jogging in a minute. I may come back and add something to this post or this may be it for the day. I expect another hectic morning at work and then I hope to take the afternoon off. I know that I need to make better choices than the ones I did yesterday. If I can't do better, then I'll have to go back to writing down everything that I eat.

Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Almost a Complete Success

The first thing I did when I got to work was to empty my stash of mini-Milky Ways and snack boxes of Sugar Babies into the bowl of leftover Easter candy in the break room. That was a big decision since it was a step beyond my normal plan to eat what I have left and then promise myself that I won't buy anymore.

For the morning I had the healthy choices of a yogurt and some pineapple. I worked till past 1 before taking the rest of the day off. The afternoon free time was mostly spent getting the Vytorin prescription filled. I had to go back to the doctor for a 90-day prescription to replace the original 30-day one that he had written. This will save over a hundred dollars a year on my insurance co-payment. Then I had to wait at the pharmacy for about 30 minutes. All of this meant a late lunch of two hot pockets when I finally got home. From there I had 1 bag of popcorn, a can of fruit, some rice and an apple. It was really a good day of food choices except that I failed to get in my 3 yogurts and I didn't find any time for exercise.

The good choices I made yesterday give me hope that this method will work. It would be much better if I made good choices because that was just part of my lifestyle. I'd rather reject the candy because I see it as a poor choice, not because I don't want to write it on a list and post it on a blog. All in all, the first day was a success. The one negative, and I guess it should be considered a fairly big one, is that my weight this morning was up to 221.5 pounds, a gain of 1.5 pounds over yesterday morning. That's not the way things are suppose to work, but I have to trust that good choices will eventually lead to good results. The tricky part will be the continuation of the good choices.

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

Am I Being an April Fool?

My trip to the doctor yesterday for a physical got me thinking about a bunch of things, and many of those things have a connection to this blog. Blogging has been a cornerstone of my dieting efforts over the last two years and I plan to continue to do this blog on my efforts to get and stay healthy. While not happy with the yo-yo results of the last 2 years, I should note that I weigh 220 pounds this morning which is 5 pounds less than when I started in February of 2006. I should at least give myself a grade in the C-range for stopping the slide towards greater obesity.

I'm going to try something starting today that could be a breakthrough or a breakdown. I'm going to stop counting calories and attempting to keep a list of the foods that I eat. In the place of this accountability, I'm counting on myself to just make good choices throughout the day. If I make right choices, I'll get the right results.

Right now at work I have a snack box with mini-Milky Ways and small packs of Sugar Babies as treats for throughout the day. I was allowing myself to eat these things under the old system as long as I kept my calorie count low, but these things are clearly poor food choices. I need to get rid of those snacks for some sort of fruit. I obviously need to cut out my dependence on Wendy's for a third of my meals. I obviously need to add vegetables to my diet. I obviously need to do something as exercise even if it only amounts to walking around the block once in the morning and once in the evening. Maybe I can get to work 15 minutes early and walk before going into the building. I just need to start looking at the big picture.

What about the rules that I posted a week ago? Those are pretty good rules and they apply in a lot of ways to making good choices. The rule about not eating things that other people bring isn't needed if I make the healthy choice to avoid fattening cookies, bowls of chocolate, boxes of donuts, etc. I know all about the right thing to do when it comes to food choices and the volume of food I should eat--all of this other stuff that I've been doing for the last two years has been things that force me to make the right choice. I shouldn't need those things. I should make the right choice because I owe that to myself. I owe myself the best possible life I can have and that comes from being fit and healthy, not from eating 4 big cookies at work along with a handful of chocolate candy. I need to see the big picture and choose accordingly.

At this one moment in time, I think this plan will work. Of course I'm sitting at my home computer with no junk food within reach. Will it work if someone brings donuts today or will it work when I'm up at Millsaps and I'm dead tired and thinking that I need a "pick-me-up"? That's the big question, but is the current method really working in those situations? Time will tell if this is a fool's dream of if I'm ready to move from this C-grade effort to the head of the class.