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Monday, April 21, 2008

I'm Fat

Is it politically incorrect to label yourself as fat? It probably is because if too many people were brutally honest about their situation then it would make the fat people who are in denial too uncomfortable. If you have eyes that can see, then you would know I'm too fat at first glance. Maybe I'm no worse than many, especially when compared to others in their mid-50's, but that doesn't help me any unless I find pleasure in the theory that misery loves company.

If you want to know about my weekend, then go back and read a Monday post from the last month. It has all been the same--most of the weekend either spent taking photos and eating too much while at the games OR most of the weekend spent sitting at my computer and eating too much while working on photos. No where in there will you read anything about exercise. Despite the fact that I have very busy weekends, the lack of exercise is not because of lack of time. I could find the time if the I could find the desire to exercise.

I was thinking last night about how for the first time in my life I feel older than my age. I also am starting to feel that I'm looking older than my age in some ways. The only youthful thing I'm holding on to is that I seem to think younger than my age. Is my body betraying me or am I betraying my body. It doesn't really matter does it. I'm allowing myself to age. Let me repeat that with the empathises where it belongs--I'M allowing myself to age. It's not the fault of society or my genes or anything else that is the primary cause of my drop in vitality and fitness. It's my fault by the choices I have made and haven't made.

I doubt that much will change in the next week of my life except that I hope to get very close to the end of this year's photo project. At that point I won't really have an excuse to abuse myself through neglect. Will I choose to end the abuse? Go question and I feel like time is running short for me to come up with the right answer.

For the record, my weight this morning was 221 pounds like most Monday mornings of late.

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