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Thursday, May 1, 2008

Yesterday's failure

The good news is that I have to be brief because I'm going walking with Boty at 5 this morning. The bad news is that I failed in my efforts to stay out of the nut bowl at the bar yesterday. I have mixed feelings about the mixed nuts. The Wednesday night get together is really the only social time that I can count on during a week and I don't want to go and feel like I'm having to make a sacrifice on the enjoyment. On the other hand, if this were two years ago when I successfully lost a lot of weight, I would have no trouble keeping myself to two beers instead of three and not having any snacks. Two years ago I would have gone and had fun with my friends and only had about 200 calories--I'm having trouble getting back to that motivation level.

As I was typing the above message, I felt my cell phone vibrate and it turns out that Boty called earlier to cancel the walking today and he hoped that we could do it tomorrow. I missed his call because my phone was on silence, something that is the requirement for all of us workers at the new office and I usually forget to take it off silence after I leave work. In much the same scenario as above, two years ago I would probably go walking on my own today and meet with Boty tomorrow. Instead, I'm going back to bed for 60-75 minutes. While it's true that I didn't get much sleep last night and my back is bothering me this morning, I think the biggest problem is that I haven't gotten totally into the diet mode.

The bottom line: Half a commitment isn't a commitment. I might keep my weight from balloon with my current level of commitment but I have to do much better with my consistence if I want to get that weight down by 40 pounds.

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