* Code to improve Google search: Frank's Weight Loss Blog: June 18, 2008 -- 227 Pounds

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

June 18, 2008 -- 227 Pounds

I woke up just before 5 and I came downstairs to the computer. I don't know at the moment what my weight will be this morning--I'll fill that in before I post--but I do know that it will be bad. I jumped on the scale quickly last night and jumped off before the scale could settle on 228 or 229 pounds. That's not surprising since it follows the eating of Jubilee Jam, the trip to and from Iuka, MS, and of course the big eating while at Pickwick Lake.

One nice thing about a road trip is that is provides time for reflection. I'm not a person who will do a lot for myself. I can be the best guy in the world for helping others, willingly doing things for others that I have consistently failed to do for myself. I seem to have a low standard of what it takes to be happy, a good trait if you don't have much and a bad trait when it comes to reaching your potential. At least that's the way I see the situation. Others may see it as low self-esteem where I don't do things for myself because I don't think I deserve those things. While there may be grains of truth in that theory, I don't think it is the bulk of my reality at this point in life. Maybe it was more true when I was younger and it has become a reflex reaction, or maybe several other theories could explain my behavior, but the end result is that I'll do for others while ignoring needs for myself.

I'd like to see that change. Even the successful weight loss from a couple of years ago was helped greatly by this trait of doing for others before myself. Yes, I did lose the weight which helped me and no one else, but I was motivated by the thought that my success would inspire others. I thought other people would find my website and I would motivate them to succeed. Then people would find their websites and there would be a ripple effect that really reached a lot of people. For that ripple effect to take place, I had to be losing weight in the center of the pool. Now that I know longer see my efforts as potentially motivating others, I find that I have very little motivation to succeed and consequently, I have very little success.

Maybe it's time that I thought a little more about doing things in my life because I deserve to have those nice things done for me.

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