* Code to improve Google search: Frank's Weight Loss Blog: October 4, 2009--223 Pounds

Sunday, October 4, 2009

October 4, 2009--223 Pounds

Thought I'd add some bird photos for Alan. These were taken September 29, and I thought they were fairly good until even better ones were taken in the last couple of days. Why didn't I post any of those? Because if the best were posted, then these become insignificant and I thought these were good enough that they deserved their day in the sun.

Todd, great start and I hope it continues. You and I have both been stymied at the 220ish level. As you can see by the title of the post, it still has me stymied.

Ever since I set the reasonable goal last Thursday of losing 5 pounds in October, I have been parked in front of a computer. There was a time in my life when depression was a possibility. Now it seems like my emotional range doesn't extend that low which is a very good thing. Not that I should be complaining at all since I truthfully have so much control over my life, but at times my life seems so out of control that it really weighs on me.

In reality, the idea that my life is depressing is a ridiculous notion. There are billions in the world who would love to have my lifestyle. They probably wouldn't think the hours were long at all, and they would certainly think that working indoors at a computer is a lot easier than the physical labor that many have to exert in order to survive. As for standard of living, my middle class income in America would make me a rich man to be envied in many places.

It's just that my life is a mess. Sometimes a good mess, sometimes a bad mess. My viewpoint varies from day to day. Remember that decision I made in the summer of 2008 to end the Millsaps photo project. If I had followed through on that it might have very well been one of the worst decisions of my life. On the other hand, starting back up with the project after breaking free might have very well been one of the worst decisions of my life. It all depends on what I want from my life.

Mostly I want to feel helpful, to feel like my life is making a difference. For most of you reading this, there are things you get from being married and having children that a single person just doesn't get in life. Some of those things are tremendous blessings and some are extra layers of worry and stress. But it is something. You love and support your spouse and children, hopefully they love and support you. You take great pride and joy in the achievements of these family members, console them when things don't work out. It's a wide range of things that aren't in my day-to-day living.

Like the church work and coaching I did in an earlier life, the photos add something to my life that is vital. They add to the value of my life while also adding to the difficulties of my life--from what I've seen, that's something most parents could say about raising children. Not to say that my photos are my children, that sounds a little creepy, but you see the parallel.

This is a long, drawn out way of saying that there are moments like last Thursday when my motivation perks up about seriously working to get this weight off. Then reality sets in and I see just how much work is piled up in front of me. Not just the Millsaps photos, but clothes that have been waiting two weeks to be ironed, mail that hasn't been sorted in a month, the eternal need to clean up around the duplex, working on the non-Millsaps photos, taking a breather for myself. In theory, since a diet can be as simple as simply not eating as much, there should be no problem with dieting no matter how busy my life. In reality, it doesn't seem to work that way.

Well now. I've got that writing out of my system, something that I do miss since ending the "Slice of Frank's Life" blog. If you look in my profile you'll see that I actually set up a new blog yesterday, the framework of a blog but no posts. The current title would be "fle-pics (and fle-thoughts)". My initials are "fle" and I've used that "fle-pics" on the Smugmug account that should be full of photos of family, friends, nature shots, etc, but updating that site is one of those many things that can always wait till tomorrow.

Like me thinking last Thursday that I positively was going to make room for dieting and exercise in my schedule, yesterday I was fairly certain that I'd make room for blogging in a more abbreviated form that what went into the "Slice" blog. A day later, the reality has set in that there's no time for blogging. There's no time for me to write a post this long here. There's just no time.

1 comment:

  1. Frank, thanks for thinking of me with the bird photos--I'm thinking she's a Rufous hummer?
    Anyway, nice to see the new blog-I hope it doesn't consume too much more of your already busy life!